Perpetual State of Flux

What I've Been Up To

• Watching In Treatment. Last night I watched the most recent Laura and Alex episodes.  WOW! Alex has been my least favorite character thus far but seeing that vulnerability last night made me a Blair Underwood fan.  It would take a lot for a girl to like Alex (wretched man!) but Blair showed some serious acting skills last night.
• Loving David Archuleta.  I’m kind of crushing on him.  Platonic crushing but crushing nonetheless. 
• Pining for a new episode of LOST.  Man, it is so good right now. The episodes are too short and the week between them is too long.
• Enjoying sunshine on my face. In the rare moments when I’m not watching TV (which based on my first three bullets isn’t all that often. OY!).  Sunshine and the first few signs of spring are heaven.
• Missing cheese (although only slightly) and discovering a whole new world of food as I complete week two of my newly adopted “vegan” lifestyle.  I’m doing pretty well and reading a great deal of food labels (exciting stuff to be sure!).  It’s odd how happy this is making me.  I won’t go into the reasons for this change (very little to do with diet) but I’m having a lot of fun exploring this world. I don’t feel restricted at all and I’m eating so many delicious fruits and vegetables.
• Which leads me to the next bullet…I’m cooking.  SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKS to be sure.  Nothing extravagant although I’m thinking I might try some baking this weekend. 
• Uttering phrases I’ve never uttered before like “I might try some baking this weekend.”
• Taking the bus more.  Still not rising enough to have a completely cab free morning but I’m getting there.
• Getting to bed earlier.  Although not as early as I would like but I’m getting there. I don’t think I’ve seen midnight on a work night in two weeks.
• Fasting on celebrity gossip.

All in all it’s been pretty boring which explains the lack of blogging.  I miss it and the relationships I have from writing. I love hearing from everyone and when I don’t…I miss you.  AND I don’t want to blog only when I’m feeling sad and venting about the world. It’s nice to relate on the good things too. So, I’m going to try that too.

I haven't felt much like blogging lately. I tried to tumbl every now and then but the heart just isn't in it.

Instead my days are spent trying to find a resort for our elopement/honeymoon.  I thought I had it all figured out until I found out through Trip Advisor that the island and the resort has a bug problem.

In that case, it is a regional issue.  Later, when researching the Peter Island Resort I read that they seem to be experiencing a roach problem.

Right now we are leaning towards Virgin Gorda or the Turks and Caicos.  The thing is that we have to be in the BVI for three full business days before we can be married. I don't know how I feel about getting married in the middle of our "honeymoon" but I might have to compromise on this issue.

I never imagined this would be such a chore!  If I wanted a chore, I wouldn't be eloping!

And the hits keep on coming...

WOW. These two weeks have kicked my ass. Sometimes, I want to run far, far away.

Mostly, I just want to stop crying.  ALL. THE. TIME. Seriously. If I wasn't so sad. I'd be laughing my ass off.

Ok

That tumblr is pretty fun. I'm playing over there today.

Another Meme - Reflection 2007

   

Stolen from the clever Sally Tomato of The Tomato Diaries.  Whenever I see her name I want to throw out the weather report. 

"Small craft warnings, Block Island to Hattaras."

1) Where did you begin 2007? 

I'm pretty sure I spent the day on my sofa. I know I spent NYE day driving home from my parent's place in Tennessee. 

 
2) What was your status by Valentine’s Day? 

I was probably maintaining status quo - which means I was probably bitching about something.  My romantic status was also status quo - madly in love  and delightfully living in sin.   

 
3) Were you in school (anytime this year)? 

No, but I always get the urge to apply to a Ph.D program in January - just after the deadlines have passed. I always decide that I am going to motivate and that this will be there year I apply.  This year, I am trying not to entertain the idea.   

 
4) How did you earn your money? 

Working for morons that treat me badly.   Lately, I've realized that I wouldn't let anyone in my life treat me this bad but because its a job - I take it despite being completely demoralized. I'm hoping I have a different answer for the 2008 meme.   

 
5) Did you have to go to the hospital? 

No.   

 
6) Did you have any encounters with the police? 

I'm sure I harassed a few mounted police in midtown. They often bring the horses around one of my favorite watering holes. I haven't been there in some time but I think  it happened at least once this year.  I love those horses but, man, they are some filthy mules.   

 
7) Where did you travel this year? 

Not many places that I can remember - Keystone,  CO. , San Diego, CA., Orange County, CA (San Clemente),  Minneapolis, MN., Mansfield, OH., Butler, TN.,  San Juan, Puerto Rico, Chicago, IL.  I think that's it.   

 
8) What did you purchase that was over $1,000? 

Nothing that I can think of.  At least nothing with the single value  of $1000 or more.   

 
9) Did you know anybody who got married? 

OMG - we didn't go to any weddings this year?  That can't be right. Is it?   

 
10) Did you know anybody who passed away? 

Ted's grandfather, Art , in February.   

 
11) Biggest surprise? 

Nothing surprises me anymore.   

 
12) Did you move anywhere? 

Almost but then my sister started crying about how it would make her homeless - so we are sticking it out one more year.  WE MEAN IT THIS TIME, KATIE!   

 
13) What concerts/shows did you go to? 

Sadly  (or not so sadly), none.   

 
14) Are you registered to vote? 

Of course.   

 
15) Who did you want to win Dancing with the Stars? 

This is one I simply cannot take. Too much sparkle.   

 
16) Where do you live now? 

New York City - as they used to say in London, "cheapside".  HA!   

 
17) Describe your birthday? 

I was in Puerto Rico with Ted. Oh no, wait. He had to leave for Australia the day before.   Thankfully, I was with our good friends, Em & J.  I booked a spa day and then got super sick on the massage table. It was the worst "where will you be when your diarrhea  acts up" moment I have ever endured.  Luckily, I was in another state (or US Territory) - so I would not let myself feel embarrassed.  I went upstairs and ordered room service and a movie and enjoyed the evening by my lonesome.  It was bliss (except for the one embarrassing moment).  In all fairness, Em and Justin were prepared to take me out but frankly, room service, heavenly beds and watching first run movies from said bed is the perfect way for me to spend a birthday.   

 
18) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2007? 

Quit and then end up staying at my job.   

 
19) What has been your favorite moment? 

I've had a lot of favorite moments.   

 
20) What's something you learned about yourself? 

I have a few new dreams and ambitions that I never thought I would have and I have to make the effort to see these dreams actualized. I can actually change things rather than accept them or just remain stagnant in misery.  I think I've learned this before but I forgot it for a long, long time.   

 
21) Any new additions to your family? 

Sadly, no.   

 
22) What was your best month? 

June.   

 
23) What music will you remember 2007 by? 

Mika, Rilo Kiley, Wilco, Feist, Lily Allen, Amy Winehouse.  I also listened to a ton of Rufus and Leonard this year  (Wainwright and Cohen).   

 
24) Who has been your best drinking buddy? 

Just one?  Ted and Katie obvs.  Special props go to bourbon dates with Joles. Prosecco with Tracey in Chicago. Dinner and vacation drinks with Em and Justin. Chad's amazing margaritas when visiting Chad and Stacy in CA.

But its really the diet cokes with Ari.  We have so much fun laughing and hanging out (especially this past Saturday with Katie and Ari watching "I Know Who Killed Me".  God, that was so fun).

 
25) Favorite night out? 

Dinner dates with Em and J are always great - although Em always drags J home much too early (much to the boys chagrin).

Vanity replaced by humility OR how I turned into my mother

Growing up my mother never liked to have her picture taken. I'm certain I've mentioned this before but I mention it now because like my mother I too have decided to no longer pose for photos. Nothing good can come from it. Nothing ever does.

Or nothing has since my mid-twenties when I would throw myself into any picture with absolutely no regard for how the picture would turn out.  The advent of the digital camera bore a new neurosis or more appropriately "the snatch and purge". How fast can I grab your camera and delete all the unflattering pictures of me. Namely - all of them.

On Friday, I got ready for the office Holiday party - excited to wear my new dress and patent Mary Janes.  Before leaving to meet Ted, I asked my sister to take a picture of me.  I purposely did not examine these pictures lest they send me reeling into a bad place where I start pulling hundreds of outfits out of my closet and never leave the house.  As far as I knew - I looked ok.  Maybe even good (damn you skinny mirror!). 

I went to the party and received a number of compliments.  I felt pretty good. Pretty, pretty good.

Then I saw the pictures.  The linebacker dressed as the painted trollop. Not only do I look enormous but I also look like my hair and makeup was done by circus clowns.

I also need to learn how to pose. Or learn to abandon my slack jawed deer caught in the headlights look.

And the hair. Don't even get me started on the hair.

Le sigh.

ETA:  Em let me know that she wasn't crazy about the hair and based on this picture - I agree. It was a bad choice. That said, it looked better in person but I do think straight might have fit the look a bit better.  Who knows. Thanks for the nice comments (I honestly wasn't fishing - In fact, I am feeling so bad about everything I started crying at work.  Of course, it was the dumbest thing that finally reduced me to tears. Isn't it always?).

Covet

Right now I want Posh's haircut but mostly I want her Birkin Bag.

I also want to have Julia Allison's body.  Rather I want my body to look as good as Julia's does in this picture.  I really hope she works out.  Hell, if she works out I may get my ass to the gym.

Damn.  The fact is that I want a lot of things that many people have but I don't begrudge them.  I may curse them up and down but frankly, I'm respect the hell out of them. 

I was expecting this to be a really long post with links to all of the things that I covet but truth be told if looked that good and had that bag...I'd be golden.

Or at least I feel that way right now.  Ask me again in five minutes.

**Just added...

The Armstrong's house. Utah? That's another story but that house and their decorating makes my crappy Harlem apartment seem even crappier.  Not only am I barren* (cue string instruments), I have a shitty apartment that is always dirty and last week water was pouring into the bathroom from the ceiling for 12 straight hours before the Super came (knew I should have given him a holiday present/tip).

OH AND I AM VERY AWARE OF HOW LAME IT IS THAT I COVET THE THINGS THAT UNKNOWN CELEBRITIES AND BLOGGERS HAVE.

I'm okay with it. 

Bloggers RAWK!  (Okay that was really unnecessary and a bit lame and cheesy...are you starting to see a pattern here or is it just me?)

*Also...not barren per se.  I mean, I may be but I would have to at least try to conceive to know for sure.  It's just that I also covet wee little ones too but I'm not so bitter about that.

Update: Also, lots of you want Julia's body too. Well, you also want to have such a body but you are clearly too embarrassed to admit this in the comments.  On the phone to me...no problem.

I'm such a sucker for...

Stolen from Ari. Too lazy and tired for links...

• Johnny Cash.
• Romantic Comedies.
• Cushy Socks and Flannel Pajamas.
• Laughing with good friends.  Especially when we are laughing so hard it hurts.
• Cheese.
• Watching scary movies with my sister.
• Sleeping.
• Gus and Cinnamon.
• Perez Hilton.
• My ipod.
• Gigi.
• Yukon Solitaire.
• Sephora.
• Expensive Perfume.
• Children.
• Ted.
• Beaches.
• Room Service.
• Johnny Depp.
• Fried Food.
• My Daddy.
• My MOTHER. (Just kidding, LADY!)
• My brothers - even the one that hates me.
• Cigarettes.
• Coffee with Cream.
• Sleeping in freshly laundered sheets.
• Dark, brooding genuises.
• Candles.
• Mayonnaise.
• Los Angeles.
• Love.
• Taking long baths.
• Unexpected compliments.
• The cello.
• Old movies especially Film Noir, Billy Wilder, William Wyler, Bette Davis, Joan "No Wire Hangers" Crawford, Audrey Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Clark Gable.
• Meryl Streep.
• Medium Rare.
• Sweat pants.
• My Frye boots.
• Memes.
• Snowglobes.
• Earl Grey.
• Friends of old.
• Friends of new.
• Friends I wish were mine.
• Friendships I mourn.
• Friends with real wit. Fucking geniuses.
• Melodrama.
• Splenda.
• NARS.
• Surprises.
• Brits - Colin Firth
• Irish - Oscar Wilde, Guiness
• Americans - Edith Wharton, Dorothy Parker, Sylvia Plath
• Canadians - Joni Mitchell, Leonard Cohen
• My imagination or is it my ambition.  Oh, same thing...
• Christmas Cards.
• Drinking Bloody Marys sitting in adirondack chairs looking at the ocean.
• Garnishes in Bloody Marys.
• Chunky Bars. (Thanks for that one, Em.)
• The NY Post.
• Target.
• My Mason Pearson hairbrush.
• Going home after killing my last half hour of work...

My throat hurts and I want to go home.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland   "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent."  You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas.  You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
The South
Philadelphia
Boston
The Inland North
North Central
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Because my lethargy and boredom got the best of me...

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.