Perpetual State of Flux

Well, I had certainly hoped that I would be posting here more than I have to date. When I hit my third trimester a few weeks ago, I was slammed by wicked insomnia.  Luckily, that soon passed and now I want to sleep ALL THE TIME.  I have been reluctant to post simply because I know that my story is not unlike that of others in their third trimester and why not save my whining for those truly difficult days set to arrive in a matter of weeks!

Additionally, in the past few weeks I’ve learned that multiple friends of mine have experienced miscarriages and I have to admit that this remains firmly on my mind — these friends remain a constant in my thoughts and remind me of gratitude.  Having children was a priority to me at an early age and yet here I am, practically on the eve of my 35th birthday, pregnant for the first time.  I often wish I was experiencing this at a younger age, simply because I see those girls on “16 and Pregnant” and I want to steal their energy like the witch in a fairy tale seeks the youth and beauty of the princess. 

Which isn’t to say I wish I was experiencing this at 16!  And if I’m being honest, I was not in any position to be having a baby at 26 either.  Still, I am frightened by how tired I feel and GOOD GOD THIS ACHING BACK!  HOW AM I EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO CHASE A TODDLER!

Then, I try to remember to embrace this all.  The good, the bad and the PAINFUL.